day 8
so it’s been eight days since i pierced my tongue. the swelling has definitely gone down, but it still hurts a little bit- especially when i first wake up. slowly getting used to the fact that there’s always gonna be smth on my tongue, and the ulcers under my tongue are slowly going away. i still have a slight lisp but when i try to talk normally it does work. only problem is probably eating. last night i had chinese noodles for dinner and it was fine, it hurt a little but i thought it’d be fine. a half hour later, i was sitting down doing nothing and suddenly my tongue started bleeding. there was so much blood, it’s not even funny. and i wasn’t even playing w the stud or anything, like it suddenly decided to bleed. so i’m prettty scared that it might happen again, hopefully not. i’m thinking of changing to the short barbell now, so that it’s easier to talk since it’s not swollen anymore. but i’m afraid i might irritate it and it might bleed again sometime later. so i think i’ll just leave it for the time being, change it tomorrow or smth.
xx
day two of my tongue piercing.
it’s insanely swollen, i regret changing it to the shorter barbell because now there is no space for it to swell and it’s like a fat chick in size 00 skinny jeans. feels awful, but there’s nothing that can be done except to wait it out and hope the swelling subsides as fast as possible. other than that, i’ve been eating quite normally with much difficulty. i think i should go on a diet, it would be so much easier than to suffer trying to eat. i can’t wait until it heals, it looks incredibly sexy. don’t know how long i can keep it from my mother though, plus my grandmother and aunt are coming from melbourne this saturday. might be a little tough, lets hope there’s no infection and what not.
oh and it hurts like hell. gonna suck on ice and finish my 2000 word research paper on human trafficking now. watched taken to inspire me and now it’s time to start writing, at 340 in the morning. it’s due in 12 hours.
xxxx
(via badgersandcones)
got my tongue pierced today!! :)
feeling as worthless as ever. you know what it feels like to need to go somewhere, but you have no where to go? it’s like you’re stuck in the one position you cannot stay at the most. except this time, it is in my own head that I need to escape. I need to escape my thoughts, my head, my mind. but there’s no where I can go to do that, there’s nothing that can be done. I’m so tired of this, so tired of feeling tired.
shoesss. x
(via dietandcigarettes)
(Source: superbruut, via skinnyminded)
therapy after 3 years
so yesterday i went to see a therapist after 3 years of endless struggle. it was really weird. i didn’t know what to say and i ended up talking about how much i hate my sister, and she linked my family problems to why i’m acting out. but idk, maybe it’s because of my family that i’m this way but fixing my family won’t do anything because it’s too late. and she said that she would call my parents in making them think she’s going to fill them in on me but when they do, she’ll ask them how they’ve treated me and shit like that. honestly it sounds like an amazing idea but i know them too well, and they’re going to end up hating me more because i made them look bad. i don’t know what to do. she’s an incredibly nice lady but it’s so expensive and.. honestly i’d rather see a shrink who could prescribe me something to take because that takes away the pain so much more.
i am so confused. :(
(via bambi-darling)
"Sad, sad, always sad. The heart is the source of the sadness. To end the sadness, stop the heart."
The Hilarious House of Bouvenstein (via endymiion)
(Source: depressionparty, via redemptionfordestruction)
